Always a Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
by largabmar
Summary: Kaoru: Every night, everyday...I think of you but i hope and pray There'll be a time i won't be dreaming / waiting / needing of you But my heart still wishes for you. There'll be a time that I wont be a Bridesmaid, and finally be the Bride. Ha! Will that time ever come? And if ever, could he still be my groom? Disclaimer applied.
1. Chapter 1

It was their high school graduation ball and she got this feeling that everything will go her way or at least something will definitely go right or she just thought so?

"What the hell were you doing?" asked Misao, her right brow raised, arms across her chest.

"What?!" panting from all the dancing.

"I thought your target here is Kenshin? Why were you dancing with those idiots?" pointing towards the crowd.

"What am I supposed to do? They keep on asking me to dance!" Kaoru answered while drinking glass of water.

"Oh...so, you just gonna let them messed your chance? My god, Kaoru...don't give me those lame excuses...Again! Did you just forget that this was your last chance? Tomorrow will be our graduation day then we'll be going on our separate ways. Come on, Kaoru...it's now or never. You've already let a thousand chance passed you by. Don't let this final one go...it's now or never, Kao..."

She glanced at the redhead across the dance floor... sitting, drinking and watching his friends dance on the dance floor.

She sighed in resignation. Misao's right, it's now or never. They've both agreed on this, that tonight will be the night she gonna confess to Kenshin.

She's been waiting like forever... what's sad was... she really thought they'll be the first one who'll be in this boyfriend girlfriend relationship, among her friends, Sano and Megumi, Aoshi and Misao...of course she's happy for them but she couldn't help but be disappointed.

She deserves to know what he really think or feel about her coz she really thought that he likes her from the beginning...from the way he looks at her and the way he treats her.

It was like a subtle romance...she always told Meg and Misao. The feeling of love was there but there no confirmation or whatsoever.

But what if she got it wrong all along? It's been years but he never confess or anything like that. Maybe... he just made her believe that he has something special for her... but in reality there's nothing like that. She's nothing but a special friend or what's worst was she's just a kid sister to him...oh, please...NO! She shakes her head in denial. Oh, I'm so gonna hate him! I'm so gonna hate myself for being such an idiot!

"Hey, what's with that expression?"

"What if...what if he doesn't really like me? What if everything was just my imagination?"

She thought she's tough enough to do this but just as she entered the party hall and saw him looking at him, all smile... her heart weakened, felt afraid of rejection, and felt afraid what he'll think of her... She's a girl after all! No matter how desperate she is, she knew deep within her... this isn't right at all!

Misao breathe and rolled her eyes..."That's why you're gonna do this! That's what you're gonna find out by asking him directly. He's also your friend, for goodness sake! You know he's not gonna eat you! Meg and I think the way you do that he has something special for you! So, you better get your ass up now and do it!"

She's about to make a move but when she looked ahead a certain red hair in a black suit was on her way. She froze.

Her heart thumped crazily and loudly.

''What now?!' asked Misao whose getting really irritated.

''I see you're finally free?'' Kenshin said smiling at stunned Kaoru. ''Hmmm...Would you mind...dancing...with me?''

"My God! Of course, she won't mind... She's more than willing." interjected Misao while pushing Kaoru towards Kenshin.

Kaoru doesn't manage to utter an answer. Her eyes kept blinking at young man in front her. She slowly raise her hand up for him which he holds gently as he led her to the dance floor. He nodded at Misao who's busy giving Kaoru a ''You Can Do It!'' kind of look.

"You look stunningly beautiful tonight..." Kenshin whispered to her ear which made her shiver down her spine.

"Really? Err, Thanks..." she murmured. Her heart felt like it's gonna explode in nervousness and happiness. Finally, she was dancing with her beloved Kenshin. She'll savor this moment and make sure it'll forever be engrave in her heart and memory.

As music played which was 'The Gift" by Jim Brickman...she closes her eyes as they hands clasps. Kenshin's other hand made its way to her back while hers on his nape. Then, they dance slowly in complete silence.

After the dance, she realize that Kenshin was about to return her with her friends. She suddenly woke up from her wonderland and felt panic_. Oh, no... This couldn't be. This couldn't end like this. I really have to do this no matter what happened after... I love him so much to let him just slip away... He'll understand, right? _

''Errr, Kenshin?'' she looked up from underneath her bangs.

"Hmmm?" he stop walking and looked down on her, expectant.

Oh, no! Don't let his look, his presence scare you... ''I've got something to... tell... errr... ask you, I mean... if you don't mind?''

''Shoot... what is it?'' They were standing at the edge of the dance floor.

She cleared her throat and tried to speak but she realize her mind was so messed up. She couldn't think. She couldn't find the right words to say… her heart thumping fast and hard.

''I~ I don't think I can do this! I'm sorry...'' Then she darted out of the hall, leaving her watching friends shaking their heads, disappointedly.

"Kaoru!" she heard him called. _What the hell! Why are you following me! Please leave me alone._

"What?!" she snapped at the redhead who have been following her for a while now.

"Kao..." he called again.

"What, what. WHAT?!"

"Will you please stop so we can talk? I have something to ask..."

She stopped walking. "What?!" she asked not looking back.

"Do you... erm... do you like me?" Did she heard him right? She laughed. _I love you, idiot!_

She turned around and look him in the eye. "What do you think?" she asked chin up.

"I'm asking you coz I don't know..." he answered sounded amused.

"No idea at all?" her right eyebrow raised and slightly annoyed.

"Just a hunch..." he shrugged.

She laughed... This is so funny. She put her arms across her chest.

"Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?" She confronted then something clicked inside her mind. Whoaaah! Could it be?

"Why are you upset with me then?" asked Kenshin

"Why don't you answer my question first?"

"You're not answering my question either."

She rolled her eyes. "I do like you, so what?"

He scratch the back of his head smiling sheepishly and said "I'm sorry..."

"For what?!" she exclaimed. Afraid that he might say I don't feel the same way... This is not good. She shouldn't answer first. "Hey, sorry for what?!"

"For being such a cowardly man..." he answered looking down. "I like you, too... since the very first time I saw you... long before Sano or Aoshi got feelings to Meg and Misao, I like you, first... I always like you."

She released the air she didn't realized she have been holding in... _Hands on her chest. Seriously, he will give me a heart attack! But what did he just say? Did he just say...? _"W~ WHAT?!" she couldn't believe what she just heard. "Are you being serious?"

"I am..." he looks at her straight in the eye both hands inside his pocket. "I'm sorry for taking it too long to confess to you. It's just that...I was so afraid of being rejected...again. You see, even my own family doesn't want me." he then hides his eyes under his bangs. Her heart aches for him.

She blinked several times then stepped forward, closer to him. Now, they were only inches away from each other. She placed her hands on both sides of his cheeks. She beamed at him when he laid his eyes on hers. "Actually, I don't like you..." his eyes widened, terrified.

She laughs. "Cause I do love you...I really, really do." Tears welled from her eyes. Finally she'd been able to tell him what her heart had been dying to scream all this time.

"What made you think I will reject you? You silly boy!" She said smiling. "I will never… ever... reject you."

He smiled. "I love you too, Kaoru...and thank you." He then pulled her closer and hugged her tightly.

_My God... thank you so much! He really do love me! Everything is real...not just a pigment of my imagination._ She then hugged him even tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

Her greatest regret took place a year after they graduated college, where they were just blossoming on their chosen profession.

Without a warning, he whipped out a red box, and kneeled down on one knee. Kaoru was stunned speechless. Kenshin took that time to begin talking.

"Kamiya Kaoru," he began, "Let me start by saying that I love you so much." He took a few deep breaths. "I was planning to do this for a while now...waiting for the right time, but I just couldn't wait anymore. Kaoru, you are the light of my life. You are the only one I can truly depend on. You have healed all of my wounds. Internally and externally. You comforted me in my times of need. And you understood. And that means a lot to me, Kaoru. It really does." He paused. "Just the sight of you drowns all of my inner fears, and make me forget all the horrors in life. And above it all, you're the only person who make me feel important in every way since the day you came in to my life. For that you became the most precious person in my life, Kaoru. So, what I'm trying to say is…" He opened to the box to reveal a gorgeous ring. White gold. A diamond sat on the band, in all its sparkling glory.

She was too stunned. She was shocked by the speech, the ring, and just him all together.

But she wasn't ready for this, bringing their relationship in to the next level cause she still have dreams and ambition yet to attain. She have just started fulfilling it and she really thought that Kenshin and marriage can wait for at least a year or two...maybe more than that. Kenshin is important to her as much as her dreams and ambitions. She really just started, she have only taken few steps forward out of a many but she certainly sure that if she really just go for it, everything is possible and it will come sooner. She just have been promoted again yesterday and if she'll marry now, it will be a destruction, not to mention if he would have wanted a baby sooner, it will be all over for her. She have to stop him. He has to save what he was about to say later. When its time. When she's ready. Not now!

''Oh, no! Please don't...Ken-..." she gasped.

"Will you marry me?"

They said simultaneously.

Then silence.

She doesn't know what to say. Seeing Kenshin shocked and pained expression hurts her even more. She doesn't mean hurt him. She loves him too much but how can she take back what have been said.

"Kenshin..." She took one step closer to his kneeling position but he abruptly stand up and move back, closing the box and putting it inside his pocket.

"Erm..." He tried clearing his throat. "I understand..."

"No, you don't, Kenshin..." She still wasn't sure how to say everything that was going on her mind. She don't want to hurt him more. But she've got to say something, right now.

She took another step closer. He looked up meeting her eyes. Oh, god...I love him so much. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, tears welled up in her eyes. Her heart was hurting right now. She closed her eyes. She knows she was about to made a decision of her life...When she opened her eyes, his head bowed down.

"Just...forget about this. Just...forget about everything." He said still looking down.

She soon realized what she have just said. Her eyes widened and clapped her hands to her mouth. She wasn't meant it that way. She was about to say something, explain whats that sorry stands for...but he already turned back saying "I've got to go." then darted out the door without looking back. Ever.

From then and there...all the things she shouldn't and should have been said and done was the greatest mistake of her life.

That's where her lifes color seems to fade to just gray and black.

That's where their five years of wonderful relationship halted.

Cause on that day, was the very last time she ever saw him. Without any warning, he seemed to left her, for good...to a place where she can never find him and no friend of them can ever reach him in any means of communication.

But still, she waited for him to come back... she waited for him... to say how sorry she was for hurting him and how much she hated herself for even thinking twice...that she regretted everything after he walked out the door on that very night.

She waited for him...every day and every night, she misses him...every minute and second of her life. She wanted to tell him how much she loves him and that she realized that he is much more important above her empty dreams and ambitions, that without him she can never be happy. And also, she wants him to know that she love his proposal, she'll never forget it ever! not ever in her lifetime.

But its been four years and her waiting seems all in vain. He still did not come back, not even a single news. And she's beginning to lose hope.

Oh, Dear God... How can she let someone whose so perfect for her slipped away? She felt her heart throbbed in pain. How can it be that this heart still hurt like the first time, as always? And as always she cried, silently...no matter how hard she'd tried to fight it she still...and always cry.

Sometimes, she cried bitterly. How could he just leave? Without asking why?! Without letting her explain...Without giving her time to explain herself.

What if...he already forgotten about her? that he already, truly moved on... that he already found new muse, new love and new life to start with.

What if he hates her very much...until now?

Haisst! Now i hate myself... she murmured. These thoughts keep appearing in her mind, over and over again, once in a while, in four long years...and she's kind of getting sicked and tired of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you very much for my very first reviewers! It really means so much! Please do continue cheering me up / guiding me.

Kamiya Kaoru, 25 years old, and very frustrated with her own life.

Sure she has everything, so what could be missing? At her age, she have a career; she have bought her own house and lot; have her own car; and have friends whom she truly can count on. One could say she's lucky and successful. Ha! Everyone can say that looking from the outside.

Well, what made her life frustrating? She have gone to a bunch of weddings but have never gone to her own. She have never been the bride. Always been the bridesmaid!

Sometimes she ask herself if there's something wrong with her. Why can't she get myself herself a groom? or even a boyfriend! She admit that she's not really that beautiful but not ugly either. Not tall but her height is acceptable and her figure is fine though she dont have those big bumpers but sure she have got the curves. Physically, she's totally okay. But why can't she even make a guy attracted to her!

Or should she ask...why cant I be attracted to other guys?

Maybe she's still hoping.

NO.

She's still totally hoping that he'd come back.

Here she was again. Starting to blame herself, again.

Maybe thats why she's still here, stuck.

Never the bride, always the bridesmaid.

Good thing, there's a change today. She's going to be the maid-of-honor. But if she were to think of it, there's really nothing different. She's still not the bride.

What was I thinking? I should be happy. It's Misao's wedding day today.

She took a last glance in the mirror before decided to go out. Her baby blue tube top gown certainly fitted her slender body. Her hair was tied up into a high ponytail.

"Just on time." she muttered to herself as she and Yahiko stepped down her black BMW. The trip from the house to the church went smooth.

Her attention was shifted when a beautiful woman dressed in an elegant white gown sitting inside a limo just right beside her car let out an ear-splitting shriek.

"Kaoru!"

"Misao!" she blurted out as she recognized the owner of the voice.

She excitedly got into the bridal car and sat beside her long time friend. "God, you're so beautiful." she giggled while scrutinizing her best friend's over-all look. "I can't believe you're getting married! I'm so happy for you."

Wow. She's finally getting married to the guy she has loved since high school. Aoshi. Good for her.

Before she knew it, Misao threw her arms around her not minding the veil that was blocking her face and shoulders and hugged her tight. "You know what Kao, I'm sooo happy. And I've never been this happy in my entire life."

She was lost for words so she just patted her back.

Misao released her from the tight squeeze and with a teary eye, she muttered, "I'm nervous."

Just by hearing her voice and by holding her shaky hands, she could tell she really was.

"You'd be great Misao. Don't worry okay?" she assured her with a smile not leaving her face.

"Thanks… I missed you Kaoru…" Misao replied as she reached out for another hug. She must have really missed her. She missed her too. They hardly had time to talk since she was super busy on the preparations of her wedding. "You look gorgeous in that gown… Really," Misao added.

"Bridesmaids deserve to be beautiful too! Right?" She chuckled.

Misao just gave her that "oh come on" look. She faked a laugh.

"Oh… I forgot I have just been promoted."

For a second there she thought that she forgot about being a loser and out of the blue she have just reminded herself, again.

Realizing what she have said, she felt bitter. Not for Misao but for herself. Deep inside, she have been wishing for her own wedding too. And felt sorry that it's not going to happen soon.

Misao moved into a more comfortable position and looked at her straight in the eyes. "Come on Kao. You'll eventually leave that bridesmaid or whatsoever role of yours. Don't lose hope okay? You know I hate to see you hurting."

She really is indeed her best friend. She knows her inside out.

She gave out a big sigh and smiled.

"I'm totally fine, Misao. Don't worry. This day is yours. Don't worry about me okay?"

"I'm sorry to disrupt your sweet little girl talk ladies." Sanosuke smiled teasingly. He leaned on the car window comfortably "Misao, are you ready? The ceremony is about to start."

He shifted his glance to Kaoru and grinned. "Hey Missy!"

Misao shifted her attention back to me and mumbled nervously. "I guess we have to go in there now." Her shaky hands reached for the handle and opened the car door then faced her again. Then she muttered the words Kaoru not expecting to hear.

"I almost forgot to tell you. He's coming… "

He's coming?

I almost forgot to tell you. He's coming...

I almost forgot to tell you. He's coming... He's coming... He's coming... He's coming..

The unexpected news Misao told her occupied her entire system that she almost tripped off while walking down the aisle.

Her heart was thumping faster and faster every minute, she could almost feel it coming out of her body. She knew she shouldn't be selfish because it was her best friend's day but her mind was strolling somewhere else. She didn't even notice the wonderful scenario ended. If her friend Megumi didn't tug her for the picture taking, she wouldn't know the wedding has come to an end.

*** this chapter was sort of adopted and rewritten***


	4. Chapter 4

"Kaoru, are you okay?" worry written all over Misao's face.

"I'm...totally fine, Misao." she answered with a twisted smile.

"I'm sorry...I can't believe Aoshi didn't tell me he's coming. If I didn't overhear them talking to Kenshin on the phone last night, I wouldn't know," Misao explained.

"I asked him since when did he have a contact with him but he didn't~"

"I'm really okay, Misao." Kaoru interrupted lifting a finger to Misao's lips. "Its not the right time to talk about me when its your day. It will only makes me feel bad." she tried to smile sweetly. "I got to pee, excuse me..." then she hurriedly made her way to ladies' room.

Still unsettled, Misao worried stare follows Kaoru till she felt Aoshi squeezed her left hand. She made a face to him. He knew exactly what her predicament is all about.

"What happened between them is already in the past. It's been four years. And besides, Kaoru is mature enough. She can handle herself."

Misao was confounded, he spoke again. "I thought you knew Kaoru better than anyone else... She's tough." He squeezed her hand gently assuring everything would turn out to be okay.

What am I going to do? God help me.

He's coming... He's coming...

"Stop!" she suddenly blurted gaining attention from one of Misao's visitors in the ladies' room. She exclaimed just the same time an old lady in her forties went out from one of the cubicles. She stared at her oddly and could clearly see that big question mark on her face.

Kaoru pretended to fix her hair and pretended to not mind the presence. She knows that she almost appeared crazy to the woman. Fortunately, the old lady just shook her head and left. She sighed in relief as the figure disappear from the scene.

"Argh! What am I doing? Wake up Kaoru!" as she mentally banged her head in the mirror. "Stop fretting already. You're tough. You can handle this,"

Misao with Aoshi were already busy waving and shaking hands when a certain redhead just appeared from the entrance. Her eyes grew big when she realized who it was.

It's Kenshin.

"Man! How are you doing?" Kenshin exclaimed responding the wave that Aoshi gave. He excitedly got close to where they have been standing. Aoshi gave Kenshin a warm manly hug.

"Congratulations. You're already a family man." Kenshin talk enthusiastically.

"Yeah. Finally," Aoshi replied on his usual icy tone. "How 'bout you?"

Kenshin gave out a hearty laugh while examining Aoshi's look. "Nothing's changed huh? Still the icy Aoshi I know." He paused for a while. "Me... What about me?" Then he finally noticed Misao beside his long time friend.

"So here's the bride. Wow. Best wishes! ...I'm warning you though." He talked as he pointed his fingers to Aoshi. "These guy over here can be very demanding." He joked.

Still struck by the arrival of someone who left her best friend hanging for four years, she replied not really knowing "Thanks... yeah..."

Then she remembered Kaoru. She look around but she wasn't anywhere within her sight.

Where could she be? Now I'm really worried about her... her contemplation was cut when suddenly, Kenshin spoke bluntly.

"About me?" He coughed. "Seriously, I have good news to tell. And that's part of the reason why I came back here," he stated sincerely as he put his hands inside his pocket.

They have been talking for a while. Aoshi forgot about all the entertaining we have to do.

Kenshins still as the good-looking from high school even though he has some circles around his eyes. His usual high ponytail now was set in low. His face was different though. Maturity was more evident.

"Kenshin!" Sano uttered in his welcoming voice. "Welcome back!" Sanosuke and Megumi approached their small group.

They gave each other a big hug. And then they asked questions usual for friends who just saw each other after a long time of separation.

And then out of the blue a peculiar question disturbed her.

"So... When are you getting married Kenshin?" Sano curiously asked. "It's been a long time. I am no longer updated with your love life since you disappeared without letting us know." He put his arms on Kenshin's shoulder.

"Yeah... What's up with you?" Megumi seconded the motion.

"Actually..." The redhead acted cool about the topic. He paused for a moment. We were all staring at him intriguingly waiting for an answer to the query.

"I'm-" He unexpectedly stopped when he realized something bumped his back hardly.

His body automatically stiffened long before her hands touches his back. How can he forget that smell, jasmine scent? Then he felt her pressed hard against his back, hands wrapping around his waist for a full tight embrace. He felt his heart beats frantically, and as if he practically hearing it thudding next to his ear. He tried to clear his suddenly messed up mind.

"I'm...I'm engaged." He finally said after successfully taking her body scent and warmth off his mind.

Feeling her who doesn't even budged, he coughed to get her attention. She instantly removed her arms off him, stepping backwards away.

He turned around and looked at her...

Emotions swept over him. It's really her, Kauru Kamiya, the one he used to love so much, so much more than his life. The same one he tried to unloved for almost four long years.

"Oh…Yeah-" she stuttered. "Yeah… Alright… I completely understand…" she blurted out.

Unexpectedly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him. "I'll just borrow Kenshin for a while." Kaoru said. He looked at her hands that held on to his...with his chaotic mind, he let himself being pulled.


	5. Chapter 5

I can't believe I'm doing this!

"Get inside the car," she ordered Kenshin as they finally reached the parking lot. She had a hard time dragging him along because at some point he would struggle.

Along the way, he kept asking her questions that she didn't bother answering. All she know is that if she let this opportunity slip again, she'll be stuck in this pathetic place forever.

"What are you doing?"

"Put your feet inside or I will bang the door on your legs," she threatened him.

"Where-"

Try to get out or…" she told him as she looked around trying to make a very good excuse. "…or I will make a scene," He just gave out a defeated sigh.

She didn't give him any choice but to come with her. He needed to understand. She needed to understand.

The logical part of her brain just shut down. She didn't care about how he would think or feel. She didn't wanna care at all.

She switched on the engine.

"Kaoru what is happening here? Where are we-" He tried to argue by raising his voice.

"Good thing you still know me. I thought you have forgotten me. Seatbelt." Defied, he shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on the seat. With the click of the seatbelt, she breathed in deeply. She outrageously stepped on the accelerator then the car went on a raging sound and rushed out of the parking lot easily.

She overtook the other cars along the busy street. She was being reckless.

"Are you serious?-" Kenshin asked frantically while looking at the cars they surpassed.

"Keep your mouth shut," she answered still driving thoughtlessly along the narrow streets. If the situation we are into were only different, I would laugh hysterically at his awful look.

His eyes grew big as he saw the stoplight. "Red light Kaoru. Red light!"

She was fully aware of the stop sign but continued to drive. Consciously, she stepped on the accelerator and the car whizzed. Before they knew it, they reached the other side of the road.

"Are you trying to kill the both of us!" Kenshin acted hysterically but she didn't mind him. He tightened his grip on the safety handle.

She was nervous too. For the first time in her life, she continued to drive on a stop sign. But of course she can't let him see that she was, so instead, she faced him and gave out a smug smile.

"Kaoru will you stop acting childish?" Kenshin started to be irritated.

Somehow she was enjoying this little time with him. She smiled inwardly and glanced at him. She realized he has really changed a lot but still cute though.

Finally, they reached the highway. She again outrageously stepped on the accelerator and the car sped up. She could feel her heart beat faster again and this time, her hands became sweaty.

Oh God, help me.

She almost took over the car ahead of them but suddenly they ended up on a curve. Her eyes widened in horror as she see a 10-wheeler truck almost in front of them.

Suddenly, she had a mental block. Ten seconds and they're going to die.

"Kaoru slow down-slow down!" she heard him screamed.

Out of the blue, she felt two hands over her. Kenshin took charge of the wheel. He made a big turn and the car started to wiggle abruptly on the other side. They were both in shock. As the truck passed them, the driver grimed and rudely shouted at how irresponsible her driving was.

She was speechless. She was just humiliated in front of this person.

As he looked at her, he noticed her face paled as she buried it on her shaky hands. Suddenly, he saw tears tracing down her hands. "Kaoru are you okay?" removing the seatbelt and gently placed his hand on top of hers. He tried to remove her palm from her face but she didn't let him.

"Shhh… It's alright now…" He tried to calm her down by alternating patting her back and removing her hands from her face.

"Shh… Kaoru it's okay…" they stayed that way for a couple of minutes.

As he felt that she started to calm down he spoke. "Kaoru let's go back now. They might be worried about us."

She finally removed her hands that were blocking her face and looked straight to his eyes. Then blurted out, "I hate you...

I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for being so insensitive. I hate you for breaking my heart. I hate you…" she started to cry again. "I hate you…" She then slapped him. And punched him. "I hate you…" shock and confusion washed through him as he try to comprehend her words.

She continued to move uncontrollably. "I hate you… How could you do that to me? How could you? How could you make me believe that love would conquer all? …I missed you." Disbelief washed thru him though somehow he managed to grasp her hands and try to stop her.

He kept on staring at her, trying his hardest to find his antecedence back.

"I can't believe this." she shook her head. "Would you at least say something?" she shouted.

Minutes passed, rationality swept over him as he tried to compose himself.

"Things do change, Kaoru. Nothing constant in this world."

"Not you Kenshin. Not me. Wh-What about our love?" His mind bitterly laughed at her words.

"That was before. Even love changes. Time can do many things. We have separate lives now."

"I don't believe you, Kenshin..." she shook her head as she started to shed tears, again.

He looked away... he couldn't stand to see her crying. But why is this situation so hard for him when he's certain and unquestionably over her... that's why he agreed to come back here... that's why he's here. Why is she making me feel like this was all my fault? This is crazy, I'm crazy...

"Why can't you say something? Say something!" she demanded.

He lifted up his head, feeling some resolved. He held her gaze and spoke softly.

"I don't love you anymore, Kaoru." he couldn't even hear his own voice. "I'm getting married to someone else." He managed to say as he struggled to clear a big lump suddenly appeared at back of his throat.

She blinked once, twice...as if trying to process what he have just stated. He looked away. "If you have something you need to know, ask me now so we could leave."

"…Okay. That's it." Kaoru ended the conversation while wiping stray tears from her cheeks.

She was about to turn on the car engine but abruptly stopped and turned to him.

"You know what?" She paused for a moment. "I thought that going after my dreams and letting you go is the biggest mistake I did in my entire life...but I've just realized… That believing in you was the most stupid thing I did."

For the last time, she wiped away her tears then turned on the car and drove back to the reception area.

No one dared to say a word.


	6. Chapter 6

An hour later, they were back at the reception area. Walking along together through the narrow halls, both acting as if nothing happened.

Upon reaching the entrance, Kaoru saw her friends and felt worst inside. The trouble that she'd cause was clearly written on their faces.

They all knew their story.

She felt most specially sorry to Misao, cause on her wedding day, she made her freakin' worried about her.

"Hey, you okay?" Sano rushed towards Kaoru anxiously.

"Of course!" to their surprise, she answered cheerfully.

She looked at Kenshin and faked a smile, signaling him to just forget about everything and go with the flow.

Sano was unconvinced. "Are you sure? Do you wanna go home now?"

She punched him jokingly. "I'm okay! Okay?"

Misao patted her shoulders slightly. She whispered, "I'm just here, okay?"

"I love you Mi.." She answered Misao genuinely as she gave her a big hug. Doing so somehow lighten the heavy load she have been feeling inside.

"Enough of worries! Let's celebrate guys! It's Misao and Aoshi's day." Kaoru laughed a bit as she let go from the tight embrace.

Apparently, she was able to fake it, wonderfully. She could tell they believe that she really was okay because of the relief she saw from their faces. Well, except for Misao. She knew her that well.

"Yes, let's celebrate for our friend Aoshi and Misao!" Sanosuke added to end the dramatic scene.

"Excuse me guys." Kenshin hurriedly stated as he quickly turned away and went somewhere quiet to answer the phone call.

Her gaze followed him. He's so near yet so far...

The newly weds went back to their business of entertaining the guests and the routine of every wedding reception goes on. There were cake slicing, wine drinking, dove freeing, bouquet and garter throwing, and the usual stuffs.

Kaoru stayed but didn't dare to participate in activities. After sometime, she glanced at the redhead who was just right on the other part of the circle. Just by looking at him makes her remember the hurt she was feeling inside. There he was...just staying cool and relaxed, as if nothing had really happened...

From time to time, her eyes would mist and she'd start to cry but like a knight and shining armour, Sano would start to try to make her laugh with those corny jokes he had.

The night goes by so slowly for Kenshin.

The atmosphere still wasn't right, no matter how hard they try to do so...there were things that could never be the same as before.

Every now and then, he's gaze unknowingly fell on Kaoru. As he stared at her, thousands questions started to creep up on him...some questions he didn't want and need to know the answers cause theres simply no point of knowing when it comes too late.

He shrugged away the thoughts and tried to busy himself chatting with each and every friend of his, of course except Kaoru.

Finally, the celebration has come to an end. The guests were all leaving and the only people left in the area was their group, gathered on the round table.

Sano initiated the toast. "For the newly weds," he said as he raised his glass of wine.

Then they followed, "For the newly weds!"

"Thanks guys! You're the best! I'm gonna miss you all!" Misao cheerfully thanked us. "We're off to Puerto Galera tonight. I'm so excited about it!" she exclaimed as she held Aoshi's hand.

"Aoshi right here is nervous eh?" Sano teased Aoshi. "Honeymoon... lalalala... yiheeee," he hummed happily.

They all laughed hysterically at Aoshi's flushed face.

"You should bring us something when you come home huh?" Megumi spiced up the conversation. "I wish you'd enjoy the one-week vacation! ...And Misao, behave!" she emphasized the last sentence.

While Kenshin tried to focus on convincing himself that its about time to tell them his real intention for coming back, his gaze lingered at Kaoru, again.

"You okay?" Sano asked silent Kaoru.

"Yeah...You were asking me the same question for the nth time already!" she huffed but smiling.

"You sure?" He asked cutely to her.

Kaoru pouted and unexpectedly looked his way and caught him oggling at her. He panicked. Afraid that she might get the wrong assumption and might have false hope. Kenshin finally decided that its now or never.

He cleared his throat to get everyones attention. "Erm...Guys, I'm inviting you all to my engagement party." Suddenly all eyes were on him.

"That would be on the 23rd. I still don't know where it will be held but I promise I will not forget to inform you," He stated calmly.

"I'll be expecting you all there. Can I count on you guys?"

Silence filled the air. It was as if an angel passed by.

Then to fill in the gap, Megumi answered. "Of course!" She looked at them to second the motion. "Right guys?" She didn't give up on the matter.

This time, Sano interrupted. "Yeah, of course, buddy. Kao and I will be there for sure." Sano asked the lady beside her. "Right?"

Moment passed. No answer.

Sano shook Kaoru's hand to make her say something.

Finally, Kenshin decided to lay his eyes on her.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello, dear readers! Well, you see...maybe Kaoru was so lost in a moment...remember that she misses and loves Kenshin so much...and there's no conclusion yet for their love story.

Or maybe, she was afraid that she would lose him again that she doesn't mind about her pride and just grabbed that shining opportunity in front of her...she don't want another regret.

So, please...bear with me. Thanks! ; )

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say.

I have just made a realization that I already had too much.

Sano shook my hand to make me say something.

I was about to say something when suddenly I felt my phone vibrate from my handbag. I freed my hand from Sano's clasp and I stood up to answer the call.

"Hello?" I answered as I looked at the group to excuse myself.

Kaoru!" A feminine voice exclaimed from the other line. "I'll be back!"

Its Tomoe, her childhood bestfriend. They were neighbors and their parents were close friends, so did they. They were classmates, playmates, bestfriends and everything. Thats until Tomoe's dad died when they were 10 years old. Tomoe and her family moved to Australia to be with her mom's relatives.

Almost every summer Kauru spent her school vacation at Tomoe's. Thats goes on until they were senior high school and became very busy. But they never stopped communicating. They called each other once in a while or at least sent email every now and then.

And guess what? Tomoe getting married.

She will return in a week for her engagement party and for her wedding. And as usual, she's a bridesmaid, AGAIN. But of course, she's happy for her. She's always happy for her friends finding their prince charming and live their happily ever after...She never felt jealous, not even a bit.

But she won't deny that she somehow felt pity for herself. She always hope that one day she would stop being a bridesmaid and be a bride. She actually longed to be Kenshin's bride when time comes. She dreamt of it, often.

She peeks at the table behind her. Looking at Kenshin's smiling face, searing pain started to creep all over her...as if she was being stabbed over and over again as harsh reality came rushing through her.

She will never be Kenshin's future bride cause he already found one...and that was not her, and would never be.

I can't be like this, not on my bestfriend's special day...and not anymore on his face.

She hurriedly wiped her unwelcomed tears with the back of her hand.

Please, Kaoru...she pleaded to herself as she tried to compose herself. Jerking her head up, squaring her slump shoulder and putting on her best pretend smile ever.

She then turn around and face them.

As she started to approach them, each one of them started to look at her with wary eyes.

Breathe in, breathe out, Kaoru... She did as she chanted the words at the back of her mind. Thankfully, she felt herself calming a bit,.

"I'm sorry, guys but...but I have an emergency at the office.." She lied. Oh...so now...with your childhood bestfriend getting married...becomes an emergency? She mocked herself inwardly.

She felt Misao eyed her intently..."I'm really sorry...but since its almost over, can I go now please?" she asked with pleading eyes, wearing a fake smile.

Please you dont want me to broke down here? was clearly written in her wide blue eyes but only Misao can read it.

Misao nodded in agreement getting her unspoken message. "Oh, sure..." as she stood up and gave her a big hug.

"I'm sorry guys..." she said addressing everyone around the table.

As she preparing to leave she's been debating to herself whether to brought up or escape that unanswered question raised by Sano. No, I should answer that.

"Oh, yeah...Kenshins inviting us on his engagement party, right? When was that again? She inquired looking directly in his eyes. Ha, ha...you're such a good pretender!

He stared at her for a moment then answered. "Its on 23rd, Kaoru..." I nodded thoughtfully. How dare you spoke my name!

"Oh!" I exclaimed followed by a chuckle. "I almost forgot to congratulate you... How about a cheers for Kenshin, guys before we leave?" I smiled and winked at them.

"Ohh...yeah...hahhaha..." Sano boomed with laughter. Everyone acted accordingly as if they were just woken up from their reverie.. Thank, God...they backed me up.

My gaze fell on Misao and gave her my most reassuring smile and mouthed i love you, friend.

After some loud cheering and several hugging and smacks on the cheeks and of course an exclusive goodbye with Misao...I finally escaped the premisses, tugging Yahiko behind me.


	8. Chapter 8

She felt like it was the longest drive back home ever, when it was 10 minutes drive only. She wasn't sure how she manage to get home safely through her blurry vision due to continuous outburst of her tears. She'd completely forgotten about Yahiko who have been silently following her all through the way.

The moment, she got inside her bedroom...she slumped down leaning and pushing her door closed. She clench the part of her chest where her shattered heart should be.

She began to whimper as earlier event started flashing through her mind.

he's back...

he finally came back...

but he already forgotten about her

he's already in love someone else...and, and ~ he's getting married!

Then she cried her hardest.

She cried till there's no more tears left...

She cried till her heart and mind felt numb.

She cried till she's damned and tired...

...

Yahiko's POV

She practically looked and acted like a zombie for the next following day's since Misao's wedding.

She didn't go to work. She just stayed at home. I knew it even i did leave home for school.

In the morning when I woke up, I found her sitting on the couch, staring into empty space. She didn't even respond when I say my goodbyes to her.

When I arrived home after school, I found her laying on the couch, the TV was on but it seems that she's still staring out into empty space with tears falling. Creepy! I thought. She's watching cartoons but she's crying?!

Most of the night, I hear her cry. Sometimes, she's wailing as if somebody died. There are times, she's murmuring while she cries but what bothered me most...were her angry shouting and laughing like a maniac.

These goes on for a week. Until one day I woke up and found her at the kitchen as if she's trying to burn down the kitchen.

"Kaoru! What are you doing?" I shouted hysterically.

"Cooking, I guess..." she then turned putting down the plate full of burnt eggs and hotdogs at the table.

I stared at her face who still looked beautiful despite the visibly dark circles round her blue eyes. I was taken aback when she caught me looking at her. "Ugly..." I grumbled.

"Thank you, that was very kind of you..." She said smiling sweetly.

We both ate in silence but I was peeking at her every now and then debating with myself whether to speak or not. But I cant stop myself from asking, I was sick worried for her the whole week.

"Are you okay now?" I finally asked, hoping that she wouldn't hit me with anything.

She looked at me with a very thoughtful eyes then said "I'm okay now, Yahiko...I'm sorry if I made you worry"

...

"Where are you now, Kaoru? Why aren't you here yet?"

She smiled upon hearing that worried voice at the other end of the line.

"Oh, Tomoe! I've got some good news for you..." She said teasingly. "My meeting ended 10 minutes earlier than expected...and I think I'll be there no longer than 30 minutes, how bout that?"

"Then, hurry up!" she said grumpily. "I don't want you to miss my engagement party!" followed up by busy tone.

She started collecting her things and get herself ready. She put on some light blush on and pink lipstick. She didn't bother to change her clothes, it was presentable anyway, even for an engagement party. She was wearing pink turtle neck, body fitting long sleeves top and an inch above knee black skirts. After checking her reflection in a second or two, she darted out of her office.

As she drives, she sang along with the song playing on her car stereo.

"there it goes...up in the sky...there it goes...for no reason why...i can't cry hard e~ " her singing halted upon hearing her phone ringing. "Yes, hello?" she asked answering without peeking.

"Kaoru..."

"Misao!" she exclaimed, immediately recognizing the owner of the voice. "When did you came back?" she asked excitedly. "So, how's the honeymoon?" she added teasingly.

"Oh...errr, great." the voice tried to sound like excited but it doesn't.

"That doesn't sound like it was...did you guys fight?" she asked.

"Oh, no!"

"Ow...k?...hmm, you know what. I'd really like to meet you right now but I'm on my way to my childhood best friend engagement party...but I promise to dropped by at your place right after. How bout that?" She waited for an answer.

After a moment or two, Misao answered "Ok, Kao... Thanks."

Silence.

"Kaoru?"

"What?!" She snapped.

"Today is Kenshin's engagement party, too. Remember?"

"Oh...so, that's it!" she snickered. "Well, please do tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't make it...cause apparently, my best friend's engagement party is more important than my ex's...and do me a favor, Misao...please do convey him my greetings."

Silence.

"Misao, are you still there?"

"I'm relieved that you won't come...you know i love you so much that I can't bear to see you hurting. Let's meet later, OK?"

She was deeply touched by her friend's sincerity and deep concern. "Thanks, Misao...you know that i love you too, right? And I miss you so much. Yes, see you soon..."

"Okay, I'm hanging up..."

"Okay, bye..."

"Hah! Who cares if he will be engaged today? Who cares if going to marry somebody else? Who cares? I don't care...I really don't want to care."

Breathe in, breathe out...why is it gets harder for her to breathe all of the sudden? Why does her heart feeling this pain again? She thought she already have it settled?

She slowed down and stopped at the hotel lobby, snatched her handbag then slid out of the car, leaving her key at the hotel driver.

Breathe in, breathe out...she tried to calm herself. Tears began to form from her eyes, she tries to find the nearest comfort room.

Who cares if he will be engaged today... suddenly, she imagined Kenshin smiling at some faceless girl, cutting the cake together... she shakes her head violently as if she can shake the image out of her head.

"No! I wont let anything hurt me anymore. I don't want to live in regret...and hatred. I want to feel happy for them..nothing less, no matter what."

She looked at her own reflection and tried smiling. She scowled herself for both looking and feeling like a fool.

"I should really be happy for my friends for finding their happiness. I have had my opportunity to be happy too but let it slipped through my very hands...but what the heck! For choosing what I've chose years ago brought me right where i am right now...a very successful career woman."

"It simply means "we're not for each other". He doesn't deserve me, my love and everything I had to offer. Yeah, that's it!"

She tried smiling at her reflection, again. Bit satisfied with what she saw, she decided that its okay for her to go ahead. She might not really feeling gleeful inside but at least doesn't look pathetic on the outside.

...

Putting on her best smile ever, she pushed through the narrow hall leading her to where the party held. Inside, she looked around trying to find her childhood friend, Tomoe. That's when her phone vibrates. "Hey, Tomoe!"

"Where are you?''

''Right at the hall entrance.''

''Oh, I see you! I'll be right there, stay still.''

Moments later, a woman wearing golden tube dress with a wavy dark brown hair appeared in front of her. Her lady friend was very sophisticated from head to toe and it comes so natural to her.

''I just had a hunch that you wouldn't come..." Tomoe pouted.

''Why wouldn't I?'' She chuckled. Tomoe just shrugged.

''Come on...my mom keeps asking for you since last night and it starting to get into my nerves. She must have really missed you.'' Tomoe said while pulling her into depths of the crowded room.

...

Meanwhile, at far side of the wedding hall, four sets of stunned eyes, staring at her with great horror.

"How in the world this thing happened?"

"Misao..." hushed Aoshi as he felt her body trembled. Surely, her heart breaks for her friend. Aoshi pulled her closer to secure her. She then looked at him straight in the eye about to say something but wasn't able to say anything...which was so unusual for her.

She looked around, stared at each and every pair of eyes in front of her... like her, they're in deep shock.

Her eyes averted back at Kaoru who was still busy hugging and smiling like a fool in a distance.

Seconds. Minutes. Moments passed by.

Somebody got to say something. Somebody got to do something.

Kaoru's about to learn the cruelest joke of her life... An adverse that would certainly leave unimaginable wound in her heart, wound that not even time could ever heal. What can i do? What will i do? Misao thought as she desperately search deep within her for an answer until Sano interrupt.

"I thought you said Jouchan wouldn't come cause she'd be attending her childhood friend engagement party?"

"Y~yes...I thought i heard her right..." Misao stuttered.

"Then, what the hell is Jouchan doing here?" he asked angrily. Aoshi glared at him.

Misao lost for words as she tried recalling earlier conversation with Kaoru over the phone. "but...I'm quite sure." she whispered.

"Then it only means Kenshin's fiancee is Kaoru's friend..." Megumi interjected still eyeing Kaoru and her friend.

Silence again.

"I cant stand here doing nothing. I've got to warn her somehow..." Misao said while putting out her cellphone and dialed speed no. 2.

Sano did the same, dialing Kenshin's cellphone number.

"Oh, please...dear Kaoru...please...please...answer it ..." As she watched Kaoru being drag in group of guess with a red hair man within. Panic washed thru her. Hurry up!

"Kaoru!"

"Kenshin!"

Sano and Misao said simultaneously.

"Kaoru...your best friend fiancee is Kenshin!"

"Kenshin, your fiancee best friend is Kaoru!"

There's no response on each end of the line. But they perfectly knew that their message has been conveyed loud and clear. They could clearly see the proof, as they both froze in shock, faces white as a sheet of paper...


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey, honey!...honey?" Kenshin turned slowly. "I want you to meet my childhood best friend..." She stopped upon noticing his hand over the phone next to his ear. "Oh! Were you speaking to someone?"

"Oh...I'm done." he said putting his phone inside his pocket.

"Are you okay, honey? You look...sick?" Lifting her hand to feel his forehead.

"I'm okay..." he answered as he tried to glance sideward at the girl beside his fiancee.

"Are you sure?" she asked again.

"Yeah..." Kenshin finally looking straight at still stunned Kaoru.

Seen by Tomoe, she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to introduce Kaoru to her fiancee.

"Oh! I'm sorry...I almost forgot, haha! Honey, this is Kaoru, my childhood best friend...Kao, this is Kenshin, my fiancee..." She said without taking her eyes off to Kenshin. "She will be one of our bridesmaid on our wedding day!" she added excitedly.

Silence.

Silence took longer than it should be.

Tomoe shifted her attention to Kaoru then back to Kenshin... confused by their total silence.

Kaoru just blinked. She really don't know what to say. She doesn't even know what to feel or what to think...She doesn't even sure if this was just a joke or one of those nightmares she's been having lately? Its just..its just too cruel to be her reality.

"Oi, Jouchan! I thought you'll be at your best friend's engagement party..." Its Sano!

She look at him as if he was an angel fallen from the sky to save her from this havoc. He gently puts his arms around her shoulder.

"Don't tell me Ms. Tomoe here was the best friend you've been talking about earlier?" he asked.

"You know them?" Tomoe asked, incredulously.

"Oh..." she stuttered. She felt Sano squeeze her arm.

"Oh?" Tomoe repeated, one brow arching.

How in the world could this possibly happen? to her? with Tomoe? with Kenshin?

How cruel this life can be?

Yes, she committed a mistake...but did years of suffering from a broken heart not yet enough?

She hardly been able to find a way on how to recuperate her wrecked heart that have been torn into pieces just two weeks ago .

She have been barely started trying to move on for no more than 5 days... and now this?

Wow, just wow! She's lost for words. She never expect life can be this hostile. Bravo. Just Bravo. Speechless.

She then started laughing that tears started to well in her eyes.

"Kaoru…" Misao's anxious voice somehow reached her. She jerked stop.

She looked around and realized that their eyes were fixed on her. She tried to regain her composure.

"I'm sorry, guys..." she said wiping her tears away.

'I'm sorry about that, Tomoe...its just that...its~ I didn't mean to find this whole thing...funny. You asked if i know them? Yes, I do...I know them by heart. I knew them since senior high and became very good friends of mine."

"What about Kenshin? Do you know him, too?"

"Small world, isn't it?" she answered smiling. Not wanting to tell lies she keep her answer short and simple.

"Ohhh...that's great!" Tomoe squeaked. "I could've get to know him better through you!" Tomoe said excitedly.

"Tomoe! Your moms looking for you..."

"Coming! Excuse me, guys...Hon, I'll leave them to you..." said Tomoe while placing her palm on Kenshin's chest and gave him a quick peck on the lips then walked away with elegance leaving everyone in awe except Kaoru whose eyes still glued on Kenshin's mouth where Tomoe's lips just lingered and puffed.

"Whooah!" Sano about to crack a praise for Kenshin's girl suddenly stop, lurching away.

"What the hell?" he snapped at Misao who apparently hit him with her handbag, eyes glaring. He suddenly remembered Kaoru whose standing beside him.

"What?!" Kaoru snapped feeling their gazes fixed on her again. "You're all expecting me to break down and cry, aren't you? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you coz i wont!"

They just stared at her suddenly disconcerted.

"Ow? really?" asked Megumi, daring her. "Weren't you just about to cry?"

"And you're claiming yourself a friend of mine? I hate you, Meg!" She said feigning annoyed.

Meg laughs, somehow feeling relieved. "She's okay, guys..." she announced.

"I'm so disappointed in you guys..." Kaoru said as she hugged Misao who just flew next to her. "None of you got a little faith in me." she said pouting her pink lips. "I totally got this, believe me. Kenshin and I were just history. And Tomoe's my best friend, for goodness sake!"

"Oh...kay?" said Megumi waving her hand, dismissing the topic.

"OK, now that Kaoru has cleared of your accusation...can i have her now for me, please? I really missed her! " Misao said winking her eyes at them cutely while pushing Kaoru away from them.

When they've totally out of earshot "Were you really, OK?" asked Misao, clearly doubting her.

"I thought I just made myself clear?" but her voice broke and gave her away.

"You almost had me fooled..." Misao said smirking. "Come with me."

And she let herself be pulled by Misao...away from the rest of her friends, away from scrutinizing look of Kenshin.

Misao dragged her out of the hall, along the hallway, inside the elevator, along the dark hallway, entered gray steel door then stop at the empty rooftop and finally let her hand go.

"You don't have to pretend in front of me, Kao... you can let your guard down, now."


	10. Chapter 10

I stared at her, dumbfounded. What did she just say? "I totally got this, believe me. Kenshin and I were just history." I felt my chest tightened upon hearing those words from her and seeing her all smile made me feel like my insides turned upside down.

"So, you're all Princess Jasmine's friends?"

Kenshin's wandering mind was caught by that topic. His gaze fell at the man who have just asked that question. He's tall, lean and handsome man. He's Enishi, Tomoe's younger brother.

They all looked at him puzzled.

"Oh, I'm sorry...I mean Kaoru." Enishi smiled sheepishly. "Princess Jasmine was my pet name for her when we were young."

They stared at him dubiously then forced fake smiles across their faces except Kenshin. His forehead creased, suddenly having bad feeling about what he'd just heard.

"Oh, hohoho!" Megumi's famous foxy smile flashed across her face. "Why is that? Did you have a thing for her or something?"

Enishi smiled sweetly. "Honestly, yes...since we were young I always adore her. But she keeps rejecting me...Telling me that I was just a little brother to her and all. So I backed up." he look at each one of them in the eye then ask. "What I've been meaning to ask is...Is she in a relationship right now? Coz I'd really like to give it a try, again...you see, I'm full grown up man now."

"Ooh, hohoho! Ah, very handsome grown up indeed." laughed Megumi who have been eyeing Kenshin who just shifted from his seat while reaching his untouched bottle of beer.

"Then give it a try...I assure you...She's a hundred percent single now. Actually, she and her ex has just finally concluded their years of suspended love affair. And we, as her friends, could do nothing but hope for a certain knight and shining armor to come and rescue her from being down and alone all over again."

"Really?!" Enishi exlaimed excitedly. "Oh, well... Erm...then I supposed you'd like to give me pointers?" his question was directed straight to Megumi. Maybe he had sense that the guys wasn't interested on his love life and there's no way they would help him.

At that point, Kenshin just felt his blood rushed through his veins for some reason he doesn't want to comprehend because he knew he couldn't accept whatever it was.

Megumi smiled slyly as she saw Kenshin's eyebrow deepens and mouth twitched.

Kenshin then snatched another bottle of beer and decided he needed some fresh air...

"Excuse me..." he automatically stood up and walked away from the group, straight outside the hallway.

Triumphant smile evident on Megumi's face. Sano shook his head then followed Kenshin.

...

Kenshin's feet led him to the empty balcony on the far left side of the building. He felt so upset. He looked up the empty dark blue sky then closed his eyes as he tries to calm himself down.

...flashback...

He was 12 when met Kaoru Kamiya at school. He was so aloof then to have a company. But every now and then Kaoru would assist him or save him from the little troubles he had but doesn't really talk to him.

A year later, Sanosuke Sagara came to our school and insist to became friends with mine...that's when my world and Kaoru's world truly collided since Sano and Misao Makimachi were best friend. Ah, yes...Misao were best friends to Kaoru before then.

Our small group grew as Sano and I became friends with Aoshi Shinomori and Misao and Kaoru became friends with Megumi Takani. After some time, Sano and Megumi became a couple. And through Misao's best effort Aoshi finally admit that he likes Misao and they became an item. While Kaoru and I remain as friends. Best of friends, I guess.

Yes, I do like her...since the very first day I've seen her...I've unknowingly grown fond of watching her carefully from a distance.

I've like her more when she's the first person, in my history, who have been kind to me. And I've grown to love her the more I get to know her.

Every move she made, every words she spoken, had always caught me off guard. She never cease to surprise me.

The fact that I've love her more and more each day frightened me. I was so afraid of rejection...of another rejection in my life...specially of Kaoru's rejection.

Though I was somehow hoping she loves me, too... deep inside this fragile and already broken heart of mine I knew I would never be brave enough to confess to her.

As our graduation day was nearing, I've finally realized that we'll be soon going our separate ways.

Chances are that we'll see each other as often as I want to. Chances are that her admirers will finally be able to court her when I'm not around anymore.

I couldn't stand those thoughts that made me finally admit these feelings of mine to her.

It made me so happy to have known that she felt the same way and for the first time in my I felt so blessed.

Hearing her say "sorry" when I've proposed to her years ago...broke and tore my heart apart...She swear that I was her world and everything. I trusted her with my life that I felt so cheated. Of which abruptly reminded me of my ill-fated history.

I had to run away. Needing me to stop thinking. Needing me to stop feeling. Needing me to stop seeing anything that would make me go through hurtful things again. Its just so unbearable. The hurt.

I had to run away. So, I did.

...end of flashback...

When he agreed to come back here, he made himself sure that he was a hundred percent ready to face and handle everything about her, Kaoru.

He swear that he would never fall for her again and promise to work it out with Tomoe.

But why...why does he was feeling this way? It felt so wrong. He couldn't be like this.

"What are you doing here?" Its Sano.

He don't dare to answer...Just stood still, eyes remained closed.

Sano just chuckled.

Then silence.

Moments later, he opened his eyes then Sano spoke. "Kenshin..."

He looked up to him, Sano's a lot taller than him.

"I don't really know what to say, man." Sano said smiling but glint of seriousness could see through his eyes.

"I love you both, you know that...you're like a brother to me and jouchan...was like a little sister." he paused.

"No matter what, it will remain that way... " Sano finally loosened his smile. "Just so you know, man." he said while punching Kenshin's right upper arm lightly . "Cheer up, bro...its gonna be alright."

Kenshin just smiled. A twisted smile complementing his heavy heart.


	11. Chapter 11

She woke up feeling the warmth of the sun against her skin. She stretched out her stiffed neck and numb body.

Suddenly, somebody was pounding on her door, chasing her peaceful morning away.

"What!" She shouted. Feeling so annoyed.

"Hey, Kaoru Kamiya... Didn't I warned you that if you don't call me back I'm gonna pound on your door." As she heard the voice, she shuts her eyes tightly.

How the hell she would get away from this cursed life of hers. There really is no way of escaping this, does it? She sighed heavily in resignation. "Then lets face it, Kaoru. You can do it! It all be over before you knew it. In month or two, they'll be gone...forever. I wish."

"Okay, I'll be right out there in a minute." She shouted back as she walk in to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. Then she combed her hair and tied it to high pony tail. She didn't bother to change her outfit, faded blue pajama and oversize tattered white shirt.

She was about to open the door when a brilliant idea strike her pounding head. She reached for her phone and dialed Misao and Megumi's number. After talking to each one of them, she bolted out of her bedroom door.

Her visitors looked up as they heard her door opened. She froze in shocked when she saw who was with Tomoe. She felt her face drained with blood. What the hell is he doing here?! her mind asked frantically.

"You're sick?" Tomoe walked up to her side and anxiously feel her forehead.

"Oh, I'm okay...don't worry." She smiled weakly. Oh, God... please let Megumi and Misao get here as fast as they can.

Tomoe lead her in the sofa adjacent to Kenshin who was eyeing her with utmost...concern? Really?! That could not be.

"Yahiko just left..." Tomoe informed her. "Let me take a look in the kitchen if he left some breakfast so you can eat. Maybe you're just hungry. Wait here, ok?"

"No...wait! I'll help you."

"No, please don't, Kao...and you knew exactly why..." Tomoe smiled teasingly. "Hon, look after her for a while please." Then she turned and walked into the kitchen.

Kenshin sits still while Kaoru fidgets. Both desperately looking away from each other.

"Is she really sick?" Kenshin peek at the woman almost next to him. Kaoru was busy looking at her tapping feet. She's wearing blue bunny slippers which made him smile involuntary. His eyes slowly wandered at her bare face which he though was slightly damp. "How come she still look young and innocent after all these years?"

Anyway, she really looked sick when she came down earlier but now with those blushing pink appeared on her cheeks? He would like to change his judgment.

"Was he looking at me? My God, why the hell did I choose not to change clothes? Not even wore some lip balm for my chopped lips, Tsk! I really don't have any idea that he would come here...with her. What a nerve! Oh, wait..does he really looking at me?" She suddenly felt hot. "Oh, damn..." did she just blushed? "This cant be!" She then looked up only to found out her instinct was true.

"What?!" She blurted out in harsh tone.

Kenshin almost jump in surprise. Oh, crap!" A sweat formed on his forehead.

"What?" She repeated, irritation in her voice.

He didn't know what to say... he looked down. Making his mind up on what to do next. Its safe if he would just leave her alone and follow Tomoe in the kitchen but somehow...he doesn't want to. Instead he look at her straight in the eye and before he could stop himself from asking ..."Are you really sick?"

She was stunned. She did not expect that question...specially from him... "errr.." she stuttered and looked down. "so what... as if you care." she muttered. She felt a pang of pain in her heart.

He clearly told her that he did not love her anymore. Of course, that means he doesn't care about her, too. So, what the hell was his problem for asking her a question like that? She felt her eyes starting to get wet. "Oh no..." alarmed she instantly wipe it with the back of her hand.

"Kaoru..." He called, his voice filled with worries.

She looked up upon hearing her name through his lips. She hated how much it affected her...it felt so good but hurt as hell as well.

"Don't ever talk to me that way again as if were friends! Cause like US, our friendship was long way over. And you know what, I don't want you to even call me by name." then she stormed out of the living room, into her bedroom.

That's when the doorbell rang.

This made Kenshin snapped back to reality. He slowly got up and opened the door.

Its Misao and Megumi.

They both froze at the sight of him. After a moment, their expressions changed, Misao worried eyes wandered around to find Kaoru while Megumi gave him an scrutinizing look which made him so uneasy. Thanks to Tomoe perfect timing on emerging from the kitchen.

"Oh, you came just right in time! I just finished preparing breakfast." She said smiling brightly at Misao and Megumi. "Where's Kaoru, Kenshin?"

"Erm..she went into her bedroom."

"Oh, maybe she still feeling dizzy or something...I'll go and check on her... maybe she'll want her breakfast in bed - "

"No, I'll do that..." Misao cut her in. Without looking back, she darted straight into Kaoru's room.

After almost half an hour, Misao came down from Kaoru's room. Telling them that Kaoru was so sick to get down and she was sorry could not assist them in their wedding preparations. Since she was newly wed and this wedding preparations was still fresh on her mind, she volunteered to help them instead.

But in fact, Misao just wanted to help Kaoru escape the torture that might eventually kill her friend's already battered heart.

Thank God, Tomoe nodded in agreement for her good offer. No more question asked.

"Hey, Kao! Its me... Its been a month. The wedding preparations has been going on smoothly. Thanks to your friend, Misao. I'm sorry to say this..but I think if its you and me, it will not be this easy. Believe it or not, wedding preparations are rather complicated. Are you still busy? When are you going spare sometime for me anyway? Please call back." toot... toot...

She sighed heavily as she pressed next button of her answering machine.

"Kao, love... how are you? I'm sorry I wasn't able to visit you lately. I've been dead tired since I've been helping your friend Tomoe. but its okay as long as you know that I'm doing it for you. See you soon, my dear friend. Please don't try killing yourself by drowning to work or i'll kill you myself." She smiled with that. Oh, Misao...I need a hug. she thought.

She then sank down on her bed, burying her face on her pillow. Not wanting to feel and think anymore. She was so tired, so damned tired..

Her body's already worn from working all day, seven days a week in a month. Her brain's pounding from trying hard not to think how cursed her life is. But whats really exhausting her...is the heart that never stop aching, time after time.

She wanted everything to end soon so that her life can return to its normal state.

If Kenshin's gonna marry someone...she could get over it...over time... some way...some how...and it will be a lot of help if he will not going to show his face in front of her anymore, not ever again.


	12. Chapter 12

Misao and Tomoe just finished selecting and ordering the wedding cake. Their next stop would be at the gift shop to check on the souvenirs, giveaways and wedding invitations.

Tomoe asked Misao to take a quick break at the nearest restaurant to their next destination.

"Is Kaoru always been busy with her work?" asked Tomoe, they've just finished eating their salad.

"Hmm?" Misao looked up from checking her to do list. Ah, yeah...she's really a workaholic." she answered then bowed her head, again.

"I've figured..."

After a moment or two, Tomoe asked again. "Doesn't it bother you that she made you responsible for her own friend just because she got a lot of work to do?"

Misao chuckled. "Definitely, no. I'm happy doing things for my friend, specially Kao... I love her." she paused, smiling. "And since, I'm still on leave from work, I've got plenty of time to do so...So, no worries." she was about to bow her head again but stopped midway. "Why? Does it bother you that I'm the one assisting you instead of Kao?"

"No. But I cant help be annoyed with Kaoru...I really think that she should've freed some of her time to help me." disappointment was evident on Tomoe's voice.

She felt sorry for Tomoe. If she was in her shoe she would also felt that way. But knowing the real reason why Kaoru has been avoiding them, its quite acceptable. "Lets just try to understand her...She couldn't just leave her work when she's holding an extremely important position in largest technological company in Asia."

"I didn't ask her to abandoned her work though..." countered Tomoe.

Misao heard that loud and clear but ignored it. For Kaoru's sake.

"Were you still that close to Kaoru even after you left for Australia?" she asked. Yes, she was trying to change the subject.

"Hmmm, lets see..." Tomoe looked outside while sipping from her tea cup. "Every summer my mom come and fetch her to have a vacation with us. Every now and then we exchanged email. And when my mom called her, I get to speak to her, too. " she paused settling down her cup at the table then continued.

"She was in senior high when she stopped coming with my mom saying she enrolled in a kendo class. But I doubted its because of that..."

"Why was that?" asked intrigue Misao.

"As I recalled...there was this guy she liked since junior high..."

Misao almost choke but disguised it as cough "Ehem! Excuse me~ ah, yes?"

Tomoe eyed her "I'm sure you knew everything about her love life?"

"Of course. How 'bout you? How much did you knew about her love life?" asked Misao. I'll bet not much...looking on how things unfolded between you. she thought.

"Well, we never really talked about our personal lives as we grew apart...But I think I've received few emails from her about, you know...guys. The last one was...hmmm..." Tomoe tucked in astray strands of hair behind her ears as she tries to recollect her memory. "I guess 2-3 years ago...telling me she's so down...that she just rejected a guy's wedding proposal and also that her parents decided to part ways." she paused. "Ah, yes...about a year ago, I've asked her how's her love life and she told me she's still waiting for a certain someone. Well, I wondered whether its all the same guy?"

"What if...it is?"

"Really?! haha... No way!" Tomoe laughs harder than she usually does.

"What was so funny about that?" she asked irritably.

"Cause that was so "Kaoru". I knew it! She would be like this...a lousy hopeless romantic. She always believe in love. A real fan of fairytale and happily ever after, haha! I remembered, she also dreamt of having her first love to be her last. And I thought all of it is just silly girl's fantasy."

"You don't believe in love, do you?"

"Now I see why you're a friend to Kaoru."

Did she just smirked? Misao felt sudden rush of blood to her head. "You're mocking me, aren't you? How come you'd still chose her as your maid of honor when its clear that you don't like her that much?"

"Its a promise between us when we were young and also my Mom did suggested it so..."

"Ha! Sounds like you just didn't have a choice." now, she's really annoyed.

"So, what happened? " Tomoe asked while flipping her hair then leaned forward.

"ha?" she uttered stupidly. Unbelievable! She knew that I'm already pissed and she still had the guts to continue this conversation. Just incredible.

"About her love life..." Tomoe rolled her eyeball. "How come she's still single till now? Don't tell me she's really stupid enough to wai~" Misao cut her off.

"Don't worry about it, she's done waiting." Said already fuming Misao. "What about you?"

Tomoe quirked an eyebrow.  
>"What about me?" she asked coolly.<p>

"Do you really love Kenshin? Didn't you've just made yourself clear that you're not a big fan of L.O.V.E?"

"Misao dear, I might never be in love for life but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have desires...she answered lazily. And Kenshin? He's quite a catch, don't you think?" Tomoe then smiled devilishly.

Misao's jaw dropped, What is she? An devil in disguised? A shape-shifter? How come she's so awful!

"Excuse me...restroom." Tomoe then rose from her chair, still full of dignity.

Speechless Misao could only had her gaze follow her walking away, disgusted.  
>How could Kaoru had a friend like her? No wonder they've grew apart. No wonder why she doesn't have other option for a maid of honor. I bet she doesn't have any real friend at all!<p>

She also wondered who doesn't deserve who? Is it Kenshin who doesn't deserve this...this treacherous cynical bitch? Or its Tomoe who doesn't deserve that self-centered bastard? Misao gasped and instantly put a hand over her mouth. She wasn't suppose to utter or even think that word about Kenshin. That would make her no different from that hateful woman.

Kenshin was indeed a bastard. She remembered Kaoru telling her.

Kenshin's father wanted to abort him. Kenshin's mother whose afraid to abort or raise him, died after giving birth to him.

His father didn't want to claim him.  
>His mother's relatives though hated him had no choice but to adopt him. He was abused and violated as a child then. They left him almost dying at the hospital where Hiko found and rescued him.<p>

Kenshin's was 11 when he was legally adopted by Hiko. He personally requested to changed his name from Shinta to Kenshin. Hiko was no better than his relatives...but at least, he sent him to school and gave him everything he needs. But still, no love nor compassion.

That's why he was so thankful when Kaoru came into his life. Kaoru had voluntarily given him what he was most deprived of.

Had he already forgotten about that? Does he really believe that life's a constant change including love...as he told Kaoru?

I really hope they would just reconcile than ended up with the wrong ones. Haay! She heaved a heavy sigh of defeat, knowing she couldn't do anything about it. 


	13. Chapter 13

Ding! Dong!

Kaoru woke up and glanced at the clock on her bedside table.

"1:15 AM?!" feeling so annoyed, she got up and get down.

"Who's there?" she asked before opening the main door.

"Jouchan! Open up the door."

"Sano?" Anxiety swept over her, thinking its an emergency, she quickly unlock the big wooden door.

"Jouchan..." Sano smiled and greeted her sheepishly.

"What ha -" She abruptly stopped noticing Sano was not alone. Then horrified when she realized who was with him. She instantly glared at Sano who's throat has suddenly gone dry, swallowing hard.

"Forgive me, Jouchan... He was so drunk... I didn't know where he live now...and~"

"And you decided to bring him here? Here? Of all the places!" she asked sternly throwing death glares on unconscious Kenshin underneath Sano's arm.

"You knew well that I couldn't take him home with Megumi there or Aoshi's with Misao there. You know...I cant...They might... They're really pissed off with Kenshin."

"What about me? You knew very well that you shouldn't even include me on your list!" her fists gone white as she tried to fight the urge to smack both of them in the face.

"Jouchan... " Sano found himself in a very difficult spot. He couldn't bring him either in a hotel, they might think they're...they're~ he just couldn't! His reputation as a man might get stained. And he doesn't want to put up a fight with Megumi at this hour either coz he's so tired and... drunk too, he had to admit.

"Who is it?" Its Yahiko, emerging from his room. "Sano...who was with you? Why don't you let them in, busu?"

Yahiko stared at the unconscious redhair as he stood by the door. "Kenshin? Is this Kenshin? What the hell happened to him?"

"Ahm...actually, he's drunk...and, and..." Sano hardly spit the right words to say. He's ashamed and really guilty but he's desperate and couldn't think if any other choice. "I...ahm...can I leave him here...just for tonight? I'm really sorry. I just don't know where to leave him..." he's actually sound pleading.

"and I said no."

"Then put him on the couch."

Kaoru and Yahiko said simultaneously.

Kaoru eyed Yahiko threateningly who courageously tilted his head up, though like Sano he was also trembling with fear.

They glared each other for a moment or two.

"OK...he's your responsibility then..." then she turned her back.

"Urgh! This is so frustrating." she groaned. Why does LIFE want to complicate everything! I just want to have a peaceful night.

She slammed the door behind her then went straight to her bed still fuming with anger, she tried to sleep once more...not wanting to care...trying hard not to think.

Though the thoughts of Kenshin's underneath the same roof with her keeps blabbering in her system, feeling twice beat as ever, she still fall asleep without even trying.

...

She woke up as she heard soft knocking on her door. She groaned realizing its only 1:45 AM! She rushed towards the door and shouted at Yahiko's face. "What now!"

"Ah, err..." Yahiko stuttered. "err...Kenshin vomits...and its...its all over him."

"So? Haven't you heard what I've said earlier? that he was your responsibility since YOU let him in! So, please? Leave me alone! Cant you see? I am so damned tired of EVERYTHING!" Then she slammed the door on his face, shaking in anger and frustration.

"Breathe in...Breathe out...breathe in...breathe out..." as she felt calmer...she realized what she just did to Yahiko and started to felt bad about it.

She re-opened the door and found her pitiful brother still standing there. Of course, he didn't know what to do. What does he know about taking care of a drunken man? And when Kenshin's did throw up, she imagined...he almost threw up himself. She sighed.

"I'll take care of it...get me a towel and water in a basin. I'll go get him a change of clothes."

Yahiko brightened up. "And next time you opposed me, make sure you really can handle the consequences of your choice." She huffed before stomping away.

After few minutes, they're both in front of still knocked out Kenshin with puke all over him. Their noses crinkled in disgust.

"Remove his clothes."

"Wha~" Yahiko was about to protest but changed his mind. He don't want to provoke her sister any further.

He started by removing Kenshin's wrinkled pink long sleeve that was hardly buttoned and when he was about to remove his khaki shorts pants, Kaoru screamed. "W~wait!" She then turned her back. "Okay, go on..." Yahiko scoffed while leaving Kenshin in a boxers then put a blanket over.

Kaoru concentrate at the very task at hand, trying so hard not let her eyes wander and not to blush, specially with Yahiko around.

She gently wipes the vomit off his face which made Kenshin groaned upon feeling the damp cloth. As her eyes focus on his slightly parted lips, her heart started beating erratically while her mouth gone dry. She don't like where her mind wanted to wander upon this sight. It started to show her flashes of romantic moments of her and Kenshin way, way back. She shook her head trying shake images away.

She continued with his neck and chest then suddenly he held his hand up and catch her busy hand. She froze at the sudden jolt of electricity washed through her.

"Hmmm..." He sniffed. "Jasmine... you sure smelled like my Kaoru." He murmured. Her breathing stopped there for a moment and practically heard the loud thudding of her heart next to her ears. His eyes opened slowly and called her name "Kaoru..." her heart was somewhat... hypnotized.

Then something clicked, she immediately withdraw from her closeness to him. Stumbling backwards hitting the basin off the wooden center table.

Yahiko automatically at her back catching her and help her steadied herself. Yahiko's attention turned to fallen basin and wet floor. "Don't worry, I got it." He then picked up the basin and walked in to the kitchen.

Kenshin seemed to fall asleep again. She swallowed hard before sitting beside him again to continue what she have started. She started rubbing his bare chest with wet towel.

"Concentrate at the task at hand, Kaoru." she pep talked herself.

He puts his hand on her burning cheeks and started kissing her on the lips...its quite sensuous and radiating in love. His sweet Kenshin then held her closer, touching her long silky black hair while started massaging her back...

She blink her eyes.

Flashback stopped. "Snap out of it, Kaoru!" She blurted out, ditching the wet towel over the table. She could not believe herself...how could she...did she just?

"This was all your fault!" Her finger pointed out to Yahiko, who jumped out of surprise by her sudden yelling.

"What? I just came out of the kitchen~"

"Kaoru..." their attention shifted to Kenshin whose eyes were half closed.

Yahiko eyebrow quirked up then smiled devilishly. 'Yes, its me Kaoru..." imitating Kaoru's voice.

"What do you think you are doing?!" she asked frantically.

"He's calling your name...maybe he had something to tell you." Yahiko reasoned.

She grimaced. "Whatever! I'm done here...Put that on him." her finger pointed at the neatly folded red shirt and white pants by the side table.

"Kaoru..." Kenshin called her again, she felt her head ached.

"He's really calling you, busu!" Yahiko said excitedly. "Hurry up, ask him something."

"What?!"

"Oh, please...don't pull that trick on me...I know what you've been going through, busu. Im just helping you...cause in love aspect, I think you're somewhat...an idiot. Now speak out...ask him...there's a chance that he's not gonna remember any of this tomorrow."

Its tempting. She blinked at Yahiko. When did he grown so smart. What the hell should I ask him. Her attention shifted to sleeping Kenshin and started to get so, so...scared.

"Hurry up, busu…" he asked impatiently.

"I don't know what to ask."

Yahiko tapped his forehead. "Ask him if he still love you!"

he suggested.

"I..I've already asked him that question..." and she clearly remembered how he answered negatively and how much pain and misery she felt that time.

"Ask him again...they say drunk men hardly tell lies and they barely have control on their slur tongues."

He certainly got a point. She swallowed hard as if to removed the large lump that have been building at the back of her throat for a while now.

"Ken-shin..." she called, no response.

She tried again, leaning closer to him. "Kenshin..."

Kenshin tried to open his eyes...but unsuccessful. "Kaoru?" his husky voice brought shiver down her spines.

And here's her heart again... beating frantically as breathing gets harder for her.

"Kenshin...do you still love me? Even just a bit?" tears started to welled up in her eyes. She felt pitiful. What is she doing?

Deep inside of her, she's achingly frightened of his answer at the same hoping so bad that somehow...he still does. While she's completely aware that this is wrong.

Kenshin tried hard to focus his blurry vision on the woman in front of him. Was she crying? He reach out his hand to gently wipe the tears tears. "You sure smell like jasmine... You know what, I used love that scent." He paused then grimaced.

Apparently, he did not hear her, she thought. Thank goodness! Much better... She thought and sighed a sigh of relief.

"Like I used to love her...but were ages ago over and now totally over..." he said waving off his hand. Kaoru's heart flooded with grief as her eyes filled with tears. Yahiko instantly at her side. Calming her, regretted what he just suggested. Kaoru withdrew herself and ran upstairs.


	14. Chapter 14

Hello, dear readers! I'm exceptionally happy right now… after months of using cellphone on writing and editing my story….my husband has finally provided me a new personal computer! (yeah, our previous one broke down) Hurray! It will be a lot easier for me doing this...

I also want to thank you for reading my story and for your reviews...yes, I especially love reviews...no matter matter what it says.

000

Jasmine scent? He sniffed. "Kaoru?" He called her again for the nth times this day then inhaled his most favorite scent once more. Wanting to confirm why the scents so vivid, Kenshin tried to open his eyes and found… A woman? Was she crying?

He reach out his hand to gently wipe her tears. "You sure smell like jasmine... You know what, I used love that scent." He paused then grimaced. "Like I used to love her... but were ages ago over… and now totally over..." he said waving off his hand. He felt the woman beside her trembled then instantly withdrew herself away from him.

He tried to focus his blurry vision and saw the woman running… upstairs?

He then laughed bitterly. "Who am I kidding?"

000

Kenshin woke up with his head throbbing in pain. He instinctively grab a fistful of his hair as it somehow lessen the pain. While he was doing it, his eyes wondered around and found the place awfully familiar. His eyes then fell on the boy sitting on the opposite side of the couch he was lying in. He abruptly sit up, trying to hide the sudden rising of panic within him. "Hey! Yahiko…"

"Hey." Yahiko stood up. "Come on, let's eat…" He didn't move. He had so much in his head. Trying to remember what had happened last night. How did he ended up here? Here in Kaoru's place…of all places. What if? How the hell he would face her now?

"Don't worry, I'm the one prepared the food, not Kaoru… and she already left for work." Yahiko said seeing him agitated.

"Ahhh," One down. He felt his uneasiness lessen somehow but not much. He stood up and followed Yahiko to kitchen.

"Erm ~ Yahiko...did you know how I end up here?" he asked while pouring water into a glass.

"You don't remember?" Yahiko inquired.

Kenshin combed his tussled red hair then nodded in shame.

Yahiko sat on the chair beside him. "Sano brought you here last night. You were so drunk..."

"Oh…" Sano…he mentally noted to kill him later while his determination to recall what have happened last night doubled.

"You totally blew it, bro…" Yahiko shook his head in disappointment.

He suddenly felt hot. What did he mean by that?

Yahiko answered his unspoken question. "You threw up and made us clean your mess."

"I…did?" He felt the urge to bang his head on the table. "I'm sorry, Yahiko… I didn't mean to… that…"

"Cleaning your mess was okay but… but hurting my sister's feelings… is a big NO-NO for me."

Oh, no… What did I do? Did I said something I shouldn't have?

"Can I ask you something? Were you really over her? I mean, my sister."

That's easy. He thought. "I think that's the way we should be...now that I'm starting over with someone else." He answered looking down at the food on his plate.

"Do you really love her? Your new someone, I mean."

"I would not marry her if I did not."

"But marrying someone doesn't always mean you love her." countered Yahiko.

"What do you know? You're too young to understand adults stuff."

"How would I not know? When our own parents was the very example."

Kenshin's brows furrowed deeply. Confused.

"You didn't know? Our parents separated on the year you left… Apparently, my mother still loved his first love that she abandoned us for him." Yahiko said bitterly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Yahiko...that I really did."

"Our father died a year after that." Yahiko continued. "My sister's the only family I had. I maybe young but I sure know what's going on with you, guys. And how badly she have been hurt… with you leaving and now...with you marrying someone."

"I'm terribly sorry about what happened to your parents, with your family but… about Kaoru, I could only hope you're not blaming me that you should not. As you only heard one side of the story."

"If you both end up unhappy, I'll surely blame you."

"I'll ask you once again. Do you still have feelings for my sister?"

"That was a very broad question, indeed."

"Then answer with precision."

He looked away "If you specifically meant feelings like...love? My answer would be… No, not anymore."

"Lies." frustration could clearly tell in Yahiko's voice.

Kenshin quirked an eyebrow.

"Let me guess what's on your mind, right now..."

"Go on…"

"Who am I kidding? ..." Yahiko watched him intently as he tensed up. "What? You said it last night... with the very same instance. You said it like this... "You sure smell like jasmine..." said Yahiko imitating Kenshin's drunken state. "You know what, I used love that scent. Like I used to love her...but were ages ago over and now totally over..." Yahiko waves his hand like Kenshin did last night. "Then you said laughing at your own self "Who am I kidding? ..." He sure wore his poker face very well. Yahiko noted.

000

Yahiko remembered earlier conversation with his sister.

"Sis..." Kaoru was at the door, putting on her red flat shoes.

"What!" She asked not looking up.

"There's something I think you should know..."

"If it's about that person...drop it." she said sternly, still not looking up.

"But -" he abruptly stop at the sight of her sister famous death glare.

"Don't ever dare to mention him or anything about him in front of me...EVER AGAIN!" then she stormed out of the house.

000

His attention averted at the matter at hand.

"But don't worry..." Yahiko said bitterly. "My sister had just heard enough and ran away in tears just in time. I was going to tell her that this morning but, but she shut me up..."

"That's good then..." Kenshin seems so distant and indifferent.

"I am so disappointed in you... You love her but you're denying it. You're coward, sham and cruel. I used to like you but now I hate you. I'll make sure to help busu get over you." With that Yahiko stood up.

"Oh, yeah... You're clothes over there... Just locked the door behind when you leave." then he left, leaving stunned Kenshin behind.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there. He shook his head in disbelief, hiding his face beneath his hands then chuckled. He could not believe that he have been busted by a kid.

Kenshin got up to get his clothes. He looked down his body and surprised to see what he was wearing. It was an old shirt and pants he owned. He remembered her wearing it multiple times but he especially remember the very first time she wore it.

"This is my most favorite shirt in the whole world." Kaoru said upon wearing this red shirt with a mouse rabbit design. "You looked so cute when you wear this...It perfectly fits you...the color, the design, the size... but now I get to wear it...I found out why you're so cute in it?!"

"Why is that?"

"The texture's great...its cottony soft that you'll feel effortless comfortable in it and the smell ~ "

"Hey, it came out fresh from my closet..." He protested then tickled her by the waist.

"I know...I know!" Kaoru giggled. "Hey stop! I'm not done yet..." she puts a finger over his lips then continued. "but you know what I love best wearing this shirt? Its...Its the thought that its yours. I'm happy wearing what's yours." she admitted while blushing tremendously.

He just smiled but deeply touched. "Oh, this wonderful woman..." then hugged her real tight.

He bowed down his head, shut his eyes tight... as if he was trying to hide from his own emotions.


	15. Chapter 15a

Apologies for the late update. I just got promoted that I became so busy at work. This chapter was cut short, sorry. I just want to upload something quickly.

000

For hours, Kaoru had been sitting still in her swivel chair, staring into the empty spaces. She heaved a heavy sigh every now and ten. She couldn't do her office work with her mind still so preoccupied.

She hated herself for all that she was last night.

She hate herself for being selfish.

She shouldn't have listen to his brother.

How could she asked Kenshin again knowing that his already taken? With her very best briend. What's that for?

What if, what if Kenshin answered her question positively? Would she steal her best friend's fiancé away?

She don't think she could live with it. She's not that kind of person. Thank God... even if its hurts like hell, he denied her again... she's still thankful.

She pulled out her desk drawer and put out a picture frame with a picture of her and Kenshin together. Her was so bright then while Kenshin kissing her on the cheek., it was taken after Kenshin's medical commencement ceremony.

Were nothing now but a history. I truly lost him. To my childhood best all over.

A teardrop fell from her blue eye then slowly rolls down through her cheek while she put the picture frame into the trash near her table.

What happened last night was rather a wakeup call. Maybe, the sign she have been waiting for years.

She never really tried moving on yet.

All she's been doing was try to hide then torture herself.

Her thoughts was interrupted with her phone ringing. It's Tomoe. She instantly answered the phone. Feeling determined.

"Wow! It's surprise! You actually answer your phone?" trace of irony in her voice.

"Hi, Tom! I am really sorry that I wasn't able to keep in touch with you and… for being unable to help in your wedding preparation... I've been really busy with my work lately. I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, I know… Misao told me. But spending some time with me would really suffice, you know?"

"Oh, I think I could free up some time from now on till your wedding day."

"Could that mean that you'll attend our get together dinner later?"

"Oh…" she gulped. That was unexpectedly fast. She thought.

"What? Don't worry, it'll be just few of our closes friends."

"B ~ but...I already had a prior engagement for to - " Tomoe cut her off.

"OK, that's fine then. No pressure. But be sure to attend our wedding rehearsal on Friday."

"The wedding rehearsal." she repeated absent mindedly.

"If you still not present on Friday I would think that you're purposely avoiding me."

"what~"

"Stop! I've got so much to do for tonight's get together. Oh, here's Misao and Megumi... Hi, There! They'll going to help me. See you on Friday!" Toot. Toot.

"Oh, Did I really have to go through this?" She sunk down again to her chair but then straightened up her posture fast.

Before she knew it everything will be over and maybe then, there will be no more tears for her to cry.


	16. Chapter 15b

Sano scanned the premises as he park his red Toyota FJ Cruiser. "Here we go..." he muttered as Kenshin and his famous hostile feature came into his view.

He stepped out of his car, Kenshin then stood up and walked towards him. "Hey, Kenshin..." Sano greeted him with plastered-on fake smile. "What's up?" He added.

"What the hell were you thinking leaving me at Kaoru's place?!"

"Hey, hey... lower your voice." Sano hushed him while shooting glances in every angle. "Meg's here."

Kenshin sneered at him. "I thought you really cared about Kaoru..."

Sano's eyes narrowed into thin slit.

"When I left you there I didn't mean any harm to either of you. Actually, I was hoping that you could talk..."

"Talk? Talk you say? I'm drunk! I couldn't even bring my own self home! How could you expect me to have a conversation in that state?!"

"Yes, you're drunk and you're calling her name...that's exactly the reason!"

Kenshin was caught up by that. He instantly look away.

"Now… You tell me what happened? Why you're so worked up waking up there?"

Kenshin did not dare to answer.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Megumi then appeared out of nowhere. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What is this atmosphere?"

"There you are, guys!" Tomoe appeared at the doorway. "Come on in, dinner's ready." She said cheerfully.

0000

"Really?" asked giggling Tomoe. "I cant believe it...but I could imagine, haha!" she laughs.

They were all gathered round the wide and open wooden balcony while chatting happily and drinking alcohol.

"Yes, he was that uptight..." confirmed Yumi

"and aloof…" added Shishio.

"Arrogant was the right word I think." corrected Saito.

"So, you're telling me, guys that there's no changes at all?" Tomoe laughs.

"Well, there was a point where he's sociable and carefree, you know." said Misao.

"And when was that?"

Kenshin leaned closer to Tomoe and whispered. "So, this was it…"

Misao's eye brows twitched. Ha! Cowardly, trying to change the subject. She thought while looking at them intently.

"What?!" Tomoe looked at Kenshin defensively.

"You invited them so you could dig into my past?" He replied.

"No! Well, I'd really like to know your friends, too!" She protested.

"There's no need for this, really. You could have ask me directly." He then leaned back and look away.

"Really? As if you'll open up." She huffed then shrugged. "But no worries, it's more fun hearing it directly from your friends, anyway." She said addressing their circle of friends gathered round the table. "Actually, I'd really like to squeeze everything out from Kaoru but it seems impossible since she's always preoccupied with her work."

"Kaoru... Interesting." commented Shishio then smirked.

Sano coughed involuntarily.

"Why don't you share us your love story instead?" asked Sojiro.

"You don't wanna know that…"

"Just a glimpse. Come on…" urged Megumi.

Tomoe looked at Kenshin who busied himself by talking to Aoshi.

"Well, it's like a whirlwind romance." She started. "We met 3 months ago thru our parent's insistency and I mean it." She added while placing her hands on Kenshin's lap. "We both liked each other on our very first encounter. We're at the same age, had similar values and wanted same things in life." She paused and then flash her gorgeous smile.

"So, here we are! Gonna get married in less than a week coz we both believe that we do fit into each other's life."

"You barely knew each other and you've decided to immediately get married?" Misao commented sourly. Megumi elbowed her lightly by the arm but was completely ignored.

"Yes, what was wrong with that?" Tomoe raised her eyebrow. "It actually happens, very often."

"What about lo~?" Misao felt somebody squeezed her hand. Her eyes immediately averted to the other person next to her. This time it's Aoshi.

"It's okay, Aoshi. I've been with her for more than a month, I'm already immune to her occasionally throwing tantrums."

"Me? Throwing wha~?" Misao tried to counter but cut off by Tomoe.

"Tell me, whats your basis for marriage? Why did you marry Aoshi? I wanna know..." Asked Tomoe. "Because of the length of time you've shared together or how well you knew each other?

Misao suddenly felt so hot. "Both."

"Did you think you really know Aoshi? Just because you'd been with him for so long?"

"You don't know our history... and if you knew, you'll never dare to ask me that question..."

"Then same here, sweetheart... We had our own reasons behind. Right, my love?" Tomoe uttered sweetly while her gaze fell meaningfully to still nonchalant Kenshin.

"Of course." he answered while patting Tomoe's hand. "Now if you'll excuse us." he then kissed Tomoe on her forehead and stood up along with Sano and Aoshi.

"Where are you going, guys?" asked Shishio. "Can we come along?"

"No." replied Sano. Kenshin and Aoshi already on their way. "We'll be back."

"Where are you going?" asked worried Misao. Aoshi leaves without looking at her.

"Bar just outside the villa..." he answered while walking away. "Ladies drink doesn't suit our masculinity."


	17. Chapter 16

Aoshi, Sano and Kenshin were sitting still in the far side of the cozy bar just outside Himura's villa. They were drinking in complete silence.

Every now and then, Aoshi would look to his phone, checking the call logs and messages from Misao which he deliberately ignores.

Sano who was eyeing Kenshin, shook his head for the nth time.

"What?!" he asked.

"You don't look like a man soon to be married, you know?" he said.

"Am I?"

"Yes. You're a lot like a person who have been sentenced to lifetime imprisonment. Why marry that woman if you don't love her?"

Kenshin smirked. "How d'you know that?"

Sano leaned his back and raised his arms up, clasping his hands together behind his head.

"Here we go again…" he said. "This is getting so frustrating, you know? Why bother ask us to accompany you when you don't trust us? I'm tired of you treating us like strangers."

Aoshi suddenly stood up "I'm sorry... I really have to go."

"I'll go with you. I don't think I'm needed here, anyway."

Kenshin emptied his bottle of beer.

"No, don't leave…I'll talk...lets-h talk...tell me whatdyou want to talk about." he said.

"There you are... he said tapping Sano's back. "Enjoy the privilege."

Then Aoshi's gone.

Sano sits down, his eyes never leaving Kenshin.

"Go on…" he prompted.

"Okay. Hmmm… Where do I begin?" Sano said while stroking his chin, focusing on something. Then he folded his arms across his chest and start talking. "Let's start with… Where have you been through the years you've gone missing?"

"That easy, Africa."

"Interesting..." Sano then leaned closer. "What did you do there?"

"Took care of wild animals..." he joke. "Nah...I've worked there as a teacher. Sometimes interpreter slash translator for the touris-h."

"Why?! You're a doctor!"

Kenshin took a swig of alcohol from his glass before replying. "I don't dare to practis-h my profession. It'll only remind me of someone who, who persuade me to take that cours-h." he slurred.

"It's way better than that technical course you want take up when you're so smart and got an extremely rich father. And you learned to love that profession, you've told me that once before. Okay… when did you get reunited with your father?"

"He found me 3 months ago and summoned me to come home. I was told that he was-h so sick. It was-h too late that I discovered that he was lying. He was jus-h trying to get me back home to set me up with someone."

"And that was Tomoe?"

"You know what? On that time, I thought that maybe Hiko actually concerned about my well-being all along. I just… don't realize it." He paused "So, to somehow repay his life saving kindnes-h, I gave in… "

"Yes, it's Tomoe Yukishiro." Kenshin puts his arm on Sano's broad shoulder. "Her goddess like beauty and grace doesn't even stir me... But her straight forwardnes-h does. Neither I, could not believe myself that I actually like that sly woman with a cold heart and doesn't even try to hide it."

"I can't believe you said that…"

Kenshin chuckled. "Funny how my preference for women has-sh changed drastically over time. I now hate kind hearted, diplomatic, girl-like woman. They seem so fake to me, full of pretense." hatred flash through his purple eyes. "Maybe, jus-h maybe... it'll work out for a woman whos-h completely opposite of that old one." He then filled with liquor his empty glass and drank it all at once. "You know what I like about her mos-h?... She's-h not expecting anything from me and I was not expecting anything from her. She's-h not digging into my past and so am I... it's a win-win situation for both of us. And most importantly, nobody's digging into this-h wrecked heart of mine." Kenshin said while tapping his chest with his fist.

"Do you love her?"

Kenshin grimaced. "I don't look for passion anymore, but just something that works."

"So you're marrying her because you find it convenient?"

"I don't care if you put it that way." His body drooping.

"What about Kaoru?"

"What about her?" he managed to ask before his head slumped on the table.

Sano tapped his forehead. "Oh, no... Not again!" Sano cried out.

000

Kaoru arrived earlier than everyone at the church where the wedding rehearsal will take place.

She took her time to look around. The landscape was superb. There are lots of full grown trees and colorful flowers that surrounds the church. She inhaled the freshness of the air. It feels so good to be here, it's quite refreshing. She thought.

Kaoru stop walking and closed her eyes, feeling the cool wind that passes by while listening intently to the rustling sound of leaves and chirping birds. The atmosphere puts her very soul at ease. When she opened her eyes, she held her breath. She was captivated by the church in front of her and its bold beauty. She felt like crying. She was totally swept away by the beauty it still possessed even though it's old.

She was too preoccupied that she didn't even notice that she was no longer alone.

Behind her, there stood... Kenshin.

"Kaoru?" The word already slipped out of his tongue before he could stop it. Damn...

Kaoru tensed for a moment but then relaxed after a bit of effort. She turned and said "Hey!" Definitely lost for words.

They just stared at each other like forever.

Kaoru was wearing royal blue blouse paired with pencil cut black skirt, her long black hair was simply loose behind her back. She was smiling at him. Staring at him with her bright blue eyes. Overwhelming his yearning heart. His heart that wants to reach out and touch her. Tell her how much it misses her, how much it really and still... STOP! Idiot… He berated himself inwardly.

Kenshin cleared his throat, squared his shoulder then speak up. "You're quite early."

"Yeah..." Kaoru answered while whirling around to take in the beauty of the view, again. "I was really looking forward checking out this place to find out if Misao's description were true... or was she just exaggerating things again just like she always did… but what a surprise! It prove to be accurate this time."

"Then go on..." Kenshin waved his hand. "Enjoy the scenery and excuse Me." then he turned around and walked away.


	18. Chapter 17

Kaoru watched as Kenshin turned his back on her. That particular moment seems so familiar. She reached out her arms and called his name. "Kenshin, wait…"

He stop walking.

Kaoru took a step forward. "I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to you." she breathe in deeply. "I'm really sorry… if I hurt you… I really didn't mean it."

"Forget it."

"But I feel that I do owe you an explanation..."

"There's no need." He said.

"I have to… it's for us and Tomoe."

Kenshin abruptly turned and look her in the eye.

"For Tomoe?" he repeated in a disbelieving tone. "For us..." he then smiled smugly.

"I said forget it… it's all in the past."

"B-but..." she stuttered then bit back her lips seeing his burning eyes on her.

"Honestly…" Kenshin took a step forward. "You don't think that I'll come running back to you if you do your explaining thing, right?" He asked rudely, his eyes almost a slit.

"You don't want me to spit it out again, do you? That I...don't...love...you...anymore. Not…ever...again!" each and every word were delivered with great force, as if he's stabbing her to death with his words. "Got it?"

Kaoru was too stunned to speak. She felt like she's just been splashed with cold cold water. Her face drained with blood. Her lips quivered. Tears fell like rain from her blue eyes. She felt her heart has been brutally murdered, again. Torn into pieces then burned to hell.

But this time she won't back down.

What the hell was his problem? She's never been cruel to him. Yeah, she made a mistake... but that fault wasn't hers alone. He got his share of fault too. He left her without hearing her reason out. Without giving her time to think. Everything happened so fast, in an instant. He should already realize why everything gone wrong on that eventful day. Why was he making her feel like hell? Doesn't he know that losing him forever was more than enough as a punishment?

"Yeah, I got it." She shouted while wiping astray tears with the back of her hand. "Loud and clear..." she sniffed. "Believe it or not, I am trying my best to bear it here in my heart and mind." she said while tapping her own chest then temple.

"Yes, I wanted to straightened things between US when you came back. I'm not going to deny that I've been waiting for that chance like forever. I wanted you back. I was hoping and praying that you still love me. I wanted you to know what I've realize when you left me." She admitted.

"When you told me, you don't love me anymore I could not believe it. I just couldn't accept it. I was hoping that it's because you're just blinded with your hatred on me and you'll soon change your mind... But the fact of you getting married made that glimpse of hope puffed into thin air. There's nothing left for me but to let you go. I thought that it could be solve by just trying to avoid you in my life. But, but~ …" Tears flowed freely from her eyes.

"But everything turned upside down the day I found out that Tomoe was your fiancé..." she looked at him with great despair. "Why it had to be her? Why does this damned life of mine didn't just let me walked away and avoided you in my life forever? When forgetting you alone was not an easy task." she choked back a sob, his expressionless face hurts her even more. "I wanted to run but I couldn't."

Kaoru tried to regain her composure. "What I'm doing now was not for myself. This was beyond you and me... it's for my friend, Tomoe."

"I want US to start anew... without dark clouds hanging between us. I know that we can't possibly be friends again, but at least I want us to be civil with each other whenever Tomoe's around. Let's not give her any reason to doubt us. Hurting the one I love is the last thing I would ever want to. I love her. She's my childhood best friend and even though we grew apart, she's always been in my heart. I want her to be happy..." she paused "I want you to be happy... From the bottom of my heart I wish you both nothing but happiness. And I trust that for her, you'll bear with me. I hope?"

Kenshin chuckled. "Wow! You didn't change at all, not even a bit. I'm glad that I did. If not I would fall for that. He took another step forward and leaned his face forward. "Your sweet tongue doesn't affect me anymore. I learned my lesson." He sneered.

Kaoru backed away while shaking her head. "Yes, you have definitely changed. You sounded more cynical than ever." With that she turned around and walked into the church without looking back.

Kenshin ran a hand through his hair and bitten his quivering bottom lip.

000

Moments later, Misao and Aoshi arrived followed by Sano and Megumi.

"Hey, what's with your face? Cold feet?" joke Sano. "Man, it's just a rehearsal." he said tapping Kenshins back.

"Where's Tomoe?" asked Misao looking around and found the church door open. "She's already inside?"

Suddenly, Kenshin's phone rings. "Hello?" Kenshin just listened. "Oh... Okay... Do take care... Bye." he puts back his cellphone inside his pocket. "Tomoe would not able to make it here." He said.

"She's not here? Who's inside then..." Misao asked while walking in, not waiting for an answer.

After a moment or two, she slipped out her head from inside of the open door with a wide grin across her face. "We don't have to postpone the rehearsal though the bride's not here, you know? We just have to have her replaced in the meantime." she announced. Behind her was confused Kaoru.

"Brilliant idea, Mi!" Exclaimed Megumi while trying to stifle her foxy giggle.

Guys just smirked.

And Kenshin? Just blinked. "Oro!"


	19. just saying

Hi! As you can see this is not an update...

Like you, I had enough of mental and emotional suffering slash flaws of our favorite love team. Kaoru and Kenshin wasn't suppose to be like that. (they're my personal hero) I'm planning to take them to realization blasts and romantic mood on my next chapters. I'm trying to get there sooner.

I ask you guys to please bear with me because it's my first "fanfic", English is not my mother tongue and I'm still learning the art of writing. Sad, but I'm still writing and editing on my phone, I don't have much time to indulge in this little habit of mine... because I'm working full time and I'm a hands on mother and wife.

But no matter what your comments slash reviews are... I'm still and always be thankful for it. It's my guidance and motivation to get better.

But please dont ask me to give up. Or should I?

Again, thank you... Specially for you gin, who've been there with me from the very start.

Peace and love,

largabmar


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